of my boasting

I've not been sleeping tonight, (no) thanks to the night shift period that I'm currently in. But at least I settled a lot of things that had been left procrastinated... And maybe because it's been a long time since I had a good jam - not those for bread, mind you - but those with music and singing and praying, I'm feeling quite pumped for this coming Thursday. I have been seeing a day when the church comes together to do nothing but earnestly admire God and seek Him, laying everything aside, as though for that few hours, nothing else matters...

With that said, I truly hate that I cannot play an instrument. I've tried and failed. But I do thank God that I could sing. I shared testimony of how I was tone-deaf in the past, and growing up, I had no musical background, which is still one of my life's unfixable regrets. I recalled not understanding the concept of harmony and embarrassed myself in front of my classmates when I stopped a group of us singing together because someone sang a different tune from the melody.

And neither was I an eloquent speaker - not that I'm currently one with the gift of the gab anyway. I remembered another embarrassing moment in primary school when we were asked to present a project in front of the assembly, and I had to repeatedly turn around to my group mates to ask them regarding the pronunciations of certain words. Yes, I was that kid who delayed the assembly because I could not pronounce "meter... metor.... merotite.... meteorite". Such vivid memory cannot be erased from one's mind easily...

Needless to say, however, God works all things (even my most embarrassing moments) for the good of those who loves Him. I'm continually amazed at every opportunity I'm given to lead the singing on Sunday service, cell groups and other sessions. I'm amazed at how God constantly uses my weaknesses to make me aware of how able He actually is.

Just past Sunday, I am very thankful for the encouragement given to me by two strangers. Though I was not leading that Sunday, these two sisters in Christ made me realize that God is using me every time I am serving on stage for His glory - that I'm not on stage for an act, nor for a performance, but to be genuinely vulnerable before a Holy God, and to show the world why I actually worship Him. For they spoke of how love should not be hidden under a basket, but that it should shine brightly on the stand... As God has become my inspiration, so had that moment been an inspiration to them. I'm grateful for them and their encouragement.

But, really, I'm not deserving of these glory at all.
When I say, "Glory be to God," for the reasons mentioned above, those words truly mean what it says, for God is too good for me to steal any of these from Him.

Your Word is a Light unto my feet, a Lamp unto my path.

On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses— though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:5-10